Discontentment is something I believe all of us struggle with - whether it be a position, status, person, emotion or object, we can long for or covet after absolutely anything. While using one's success to inspire us to strive for something similar is admirable, allowing it to fill us with emptiness and dissatisfaction is not.
I recently found myself falling into the pit of only-if-I-hads! My discontentment blinded my eyes to the privileges and blessings I enjoy. It went from bad to worse. People say, "Look at those less fortunate than yourself." - that used to work but not anymore. I have become immune to such comparative therapies; I begin reasoning with myself that everyone lives a different life and hence give myself a license to sulk with self-pity. This did not spur me on to achieve greater things, it drained me to the point of conscious and stubborn laziness...that is when the penny finally dropped!
A tweet popped up on my Twitter feed about recording something that you're grateful for each day, a point that resonated from the sermon on Sunday. That was it! I looked around for ideas to make this task fun and memorable:
Jar of Gratitude
Leave it in a prominent place in your room, preferably on your bedside table. At the end of each day, take a small piece of paper and make a note of one thing that made you smile or breathe a sigh of relief.
Board of Thankfulness
This needs a little wall space and a lot of sticky notes.
All you need is a bit of inspiration! I neither have a jar nor a board, instead I used an old chocolate container to make a 'Box of Gratitude'
Box of Gratitude
Doesn't matter how, but I invite you to join me in recording your often forgotten blessings. It not only preserves you from debilitating discontentment, it also offers you something to fondly look back on, in the near or distant future.
Every day, no matter how bleak, has a silver lining that makes us stop and breathe or even smile - a gorgeous sunrise, a supportive friend, a good night's sleep or even just relief to have gotten through the day. I know it is not always easy to look past dismay, but it is not an impossible task either. I am not implying that we disguise our sorrows, far from it; amidst the blitz, forage for that hint of comfort or joy that pushes you forward.
Paul certainly had a point when he said, 'Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.' - if you weren't already tempted by the opportunity to put your creative hats on, I bet the latter part of this verse made my argument doubly convincing!
I guess it's settled then - there is no right or wrong way to be grateful, except to be ungrateful!
I am currently working my way through Krish Kandiah's study, 'FRESH' - it is aimed at Christian university students. It has helped me discover a lot, not only as a Christian and a student but also as a daughter and a friend. Although it is aimed at those beginning their first year, I would recommend it to every Christian at university. It is filled with relatable anecdotes and thought provoking challenges, one of which was to write about how I plan to discover God in my chosen field of study - in this post, I shall try to do just that.
This question isn't new, it has consumed me numerous times. Over this academic year, I have been trying to ascertain how my Christianity ought to impact my pursuit in science. With studies that suggest that religious people are less intelligent than those that aren't, and theories that are so contrary to what the Bible states, it seems almost impossible in this day and age to call myself both a Christian and a Scientist.
With much thought to this I have realised that I wrongly equated my Christianity with my passion for science; I confused my identity with my vocation. Am I separating these two important spheres? Certainly not, in fact the contrary is true. As a Christian, my scientific vocation ought to glorify God - my conclusions need to be unbiased and my research, built on the evidence at hand.
The past few centuries have wrongly projected science and Christianity as irreconcilable entities - all because people felt the need to blame something for the views and philosophies they held dear. Christianity affects world-views, and rightly so, however science does not and cannot. The Oxford dictionary defines 'science' as the 'intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.' I know that I do not need a definition to show you that science is empirical; world-views and philosophies cannot be attributed to such tangibility.
I have learnt therefore that my relationship with God does not impede my scientific pursuit, but it drives it. You see, the Bible was never intended to be a science text book, far from it. To compare it to one, would in my opinion be wrong and demeaning; the Bible possesses a nobler purpose, to help one understand the attributes of God and how to be reconciled to Him in light of their sinfulness. Science and Christianity answer different questions, to deny this fact is what impedes knowledge, or worse, promotes false knowledge.
My area of study is Medical Genetics. From a single base in the DNA to its ability to regulate key processes throughout the body, every intricacy points me to God with ever increasing awe. A scientist is much like a sailor trying to reach the horizon, just when he thinks he has sailed enough, he realises it is not so; his journey to that point is by no means unpleasant or in vain.
I have also realised that scientific knowledge is limited. God is the author of life (I am not sure if any of us can define 'life') and the orchestrator of the universe. Science is not a pursuit to disprove His existence or unveil His identity (such matters are beyond its scope), instead it is a quest to discover an iota of all that was involved in God putting together this mind-blowing cosmos and everything in it.
Some of the greatest scientific minds were Christians or theists - Sir Isaac Newton, Johannes Kepler, William Harvey - name it! Closer to my field, I respect and admire Dr. Francis Collins. None of these minds found the need to neglect God to accomplish much for science, but they glorified Him through their achievements. Isn't that enough inspiration to spur us on!
In light of all this, it feels appropriate to end by quoting one of my Genetics lecturers,
'What is life? That is a question you address, not with your head, but with your heart.'
Everyday words that we take for granted and liberally dish out with little thought to what they truly mean. It bothers me to know that this generation has fallen prey to what I call the 'popular-word-bias' - when society adapts a word and embellishes it with various implicit connotations that the usage of it becomes meaningless, yet dangerous!
I'll stop beating around the bush and blurt out the fact that I am in fact addressing the issue of homosexuality, same-sex marriage in particular. I am not writing this to voice my stance on it, or convince you of what I believe - you might know what I believe, or like some you might wrongly label me a bigoted homophobe - my friend, you are free to believe what you want! I am writing this with one agenda, to highlight this society's ignorant misconceptions.
'Freedom of expression', 'freedom of speech', are some of many human-rights jargon that flood media outlets but few understand what they mean. It appears to me that one is entitled to express his opinion or belief only if it complements the majority. I am saddened by news articles that condemn open-air preachers for simply stating what the Bible says on this matter. (Let me make this clear that I do not speak for those preaching hatred, and I mean, preaching HATRED!) It troubled me to see believers (not just Christians) being ridiculed for their stance.
Is that what freedom is?
If freedom permits one to say 'Aye', should it not also permit the other to say 'Nay'?
I applaud the government and our justice systems for taking hatred seriously and dealing with it appropriately. However I am appalled by the fact that its measures are concentrated on preventing hatred towards the proposition, while hatred towards the opposition not only goes unnoticed, but is trivialised. Justice is symbolised by scales, but our practise of it seriously skews it.
Does that seem fair to you?
We are equal, all of us, regardless of our opinions, races, sexual preferences, political views, name it! Equality runs both ways though, you cannot just emphasise that society ought to embrace change, you've got to be mindful and empathetic towards those who do not wish to conform to this change. As one of my wise best friends says, 'Agree to disagree.' Equality means treating those who practise homosexuality with love, acceptance and respect; it also means treating those who may oppose homosexuality with the same love, acceptance and respect. A difference in opinion is not a personal attack - one does not hate people who practise homosexuality or people who oppose it - it is merely an expression of varied ideologies.
Who says that's wrong? Values matter to an individual, never try to trivialise or ridicule them, instead respect and make room for intellectually stimulating discussions. Every century accommodated people who adhered to varied ideologies, and they got on fine on a personal level!
Finally, tolerance. The dictionary defines tolerance as, 'the ability or willingness to endure the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with.'
Tolerating means 'enduring', putting up with something; tolerance does not demand or require agreement. Any issue, even the least controversial, splits opinions and there is nothing intolerant about disagreeing. With a lot of Christians (and members of other faiths) being labelled 'intolerant' for their stance, I wonder, wouldn't that same usage of the word apply vice versa? By labelling a Christian intolerant for disagreeing with homosexuality, aren't you implying that a Christian could label a proponent of homosexuality 'intolerant', on the basis that they disagree with tthe Bible?
Think! Before you use any of these terms, think! The illogical, mindless, rash usage of these terms has hurt many - proponents and opponents alike. While we are seeking to build bridges between various members of the community, such practises burn them down to nothing. I do not deny the fact that there are those with extreme views on either side, and I do not condone them, far from it! All I want to see is fair judgement and freedom to have a mature discussion.
My decision to join Blackout was down to one video I stumbled upon - Fatima's story.
I could immediately relate to Fatima - she loved God and blogged about it. However soon I realised that my initial assumption, was so wrong - while the worst response I have ever received was an insult, she endured so much more; Fatima lived in an environment that was so harsh to Christianity that she received death threats. My response to these insults were a greater level of cautiousness as I toned down my posts, but she was resilient, fearless, unashamed and did not compromise her belief in Jesus Christ for acceptance or safety. As her tragic story came to an end, Fatima's words echoed in my ears , 'I am unto death, a Christian'. These words challenged me - Fatima stayed faithful till the end, would I do the same?
I have it easy. I enjoy the freedom of religious expression to a certain extent, however I am increasingly aware of the fact that I, am part of a minority. Hence, my friend and I decided to jump on board the Blackout waggon by abstaining from social media for the weekend.
Frankly, it was harder than I thought! The urge to procrastinate, the need to check my notifications and inform myself about others' business, was all too overwhelming. I was at the brink of giving up when I remembered the sacrifices these Christians made for the sake of the Gospel. Their sacrifice demeaned my meaningless, petty social media fast into a 'non-sacrifice'!
What a slap on the face!
Not only that, the Blackout made people question. As a pair, we decided to announce on our social media platforms what and why we are doing this. Friends, both Christian and non-Christian responded - some, just curious, while others gave us a nod of approval.
It truly surprised me to find out that many were oblivious to the level of persecution Christians face. Conversations elucidated the lack of media coverage on such matters - with celebrity gossip headlining numerous reputed newspapers, this comes as no surprise! We plunged into this aiming to educate and equip people to support the persecuted church, with the response shown, I believe we ticked off that box.
Most importantly, the time I once thought I didn't have for prayers and quiet times because I was just 'too busy', appeared from no where. It gave me time to stand one in spirit with the persecuted church. As I reflected on what drove and sustained them through torture, torment and death, the words from a song by Nathan Tasker came to mind,
For a moment there is sorrow, for a moment suffering
but I have seen my tomorrow, and I know where I'm gonna be.
I'll be like a bird set free.
'Cause in the end, I'm going home
I'll go to glory, on Heaven's shores
and as I'm dying, my soul will soar
'cause in the end I know I'm going home
The church has faced persecution for centuries, yet it has stood the test of time - because of its hope in an eternity spent with the Savior.
Hebrews 13:3 reminds us to 'Continue to remember those in prison as if [we] were together with them in prison, and those who are ill-treated as if [we ourselves] were suffering.' Blacking out has helped me acknowledge the fact that although we might live across the ocean on different continents, oblivious to each other's existence, in Christ we are united, we bear the same cross. Hence it is our duty to support them. If we don't support the church, who will!
Ways in which you can support the persecuted church:
Pray - in the words of Oswald Chambers, 'Prayer doesn't fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work'. If lost, find prayer guides to help you.
You can financially support organisations that work for and with the persecuted church - e.g. If you live in the UK and wish to support Open Doors, just text BLKT14 £_(amount you'd like to give)_ to 70070
Let us forever be reminded that these Christians were so convicted by their trust in Jesus that they shook off all apathy to actively serve the Lord.
That is what Christianity is all about.
That is the kind of Christianity I pray we in the west, revert to.
Whatever the level of persecution we might face on this earth, may we have the courage to join Fatima in saying, 'I am unto death, a Christian.'
This is new writing ground, as this post is going to be brutally honest.
I realise that one of the reasons I decided to blog, was to encourage others who face similar challenges in life. With this in mind, it would be rather dishonest and perhaps selfish to keep quiet about one of my greatest struggles...my stutter.
Society has sadly portrayed stammering to be a reflection of poor intelligence; this is certainly not true as some of the greatest minds in various fields are stutterers. Stuttering can be debilitating, not only on a physical and mental level, but also emotionally. Hence this post aims to encourage stutterers to not be broken by it and non-stutterers to be more empathetic - don't worry, I shall not bore you with scientific facts!
I started stuttering when I was 9 - as a school child, being asked to read a passage in front of the class was the most petrifying task. I still remember the jeers, not only from my peers but also my teacher, as I found myself stuck on a relatively easy word - canteen - for almost 10 minutes! The once extrovert soon started shying away; losing all self-esteem and confidence, I wondered many times why God made me stutter! Such experiences scarred me so much that just the sound of the word 'stammering' or 'stuttering' would hoist my defences as I vigorously denied ever having such a problem.
With debating and public speaking being one of my passions, I felt like I had lost my identity. Luckily, all this changed when I became a Christian.
As a Christian, you find your identity in God, not in what you can do but what He has done. This changed everything. I didn't have to prove myself to God with my eloquence in speech, all He wanted was a willing heart that trusted and obeyed. While I previously felt useless, I now know my life is purposeful - God used Moses, a stutterer, to lead the Jews out of Egypt; what stops Him from using me! I came to terms with the fact that I stutter, while it is still a struggle at times to pronounce certain words fluently, I can assure you that it is not a cross I regret bearing. Don't get me wrong, I get frustrated and embarrassed all the time - who likes standing helpless in front of a crowd!
When I am asked to speak or read in public, I usually say a mini prayer beforehand in my head for God to guide me - miraculously there are numerous instances where He has helped me speak with great ardour and clarity in the presence of many. Although there are other circumstances where He lets me face my stutter, I have learnt how to deal with it; instead of blaming God, I thank Him for reminding me that I need Him always.
I feel the need to share some of my futile attempts to disguise my stammer:
As Urban Dictionary says, I have become a synonym 'don' (this translates as 'expert' for you cultured folks)! I swap words while speaking and reading if I know it's a syllable that's troublesome. While this is amazing at times, it has left me looking foolish when I'm reading a text others have!
I skip words out while reading in public. I must admit that this is something I still do - I guess I'd rather appear blind than as a stutterer! However, this frustrates listeners as sentences lack sense - surprise!
People usually tell me to think before speaking, this does not help as too much care leads to anxiety.
How to deal with it:
My problem was denying I stutter - I remember being referred to a speech therapist at school when I was 12. The therapist asked me if I struggled with stammering...I told her that it must be a mistake as it is very rare and walked out the room - the greatest regret of my life. There are people out there who genuinely wish to help you, although it is hard, accept it.
As I mentioned before, prayer is my key.
I also find it helpful to meditate on verses like:
1 Corinthians 10:13 - I know this speaks of temptation; as stuttering tempts me to doubt God, His promises, goodness and awesome power, it is pretty relevant!
Next, let a friend know! This took a lot of courage but was worth it; the friends who know my struggle have helped me out immensely. Whether it be volunteering to read a part I might end up having to, or just lending a patient listening ear as I limp through a sentence, they are just super understanding!
I find it helpful to read over the texts a few times beforehand in order to not be shocked by the words in it. Breath control can also be a great strategy, although this may not be a foolproof idea, breathing before the word in question has often helped me through it.
When you feel down, remember it is normal, go and research some famous faces who struggled just like you did but refused to let that get them down. Here are a few to start you off: Winston Churchill (What! I know right!), Rowan Atkinson, Marilyn Monroe, Lewis Carroll...just check Wikipedia and watch your jaw drop!
Now to my non-stuttering e-pals:
The most frustrating thing about a stutter is when those close to you are not responsive or supportive. For many years since I began stuttering, there were those who rebuked me for pretending or copying someone else...that is really not helpful!
Also, I find it rather unnerving when people hurry me to speak. Please be patient with a stutterer; it is all thought through, we just need a little longer to express ourselves.
Finally, we can take jokes about stuttering but just remember to be nice and not take it too far!
Stuttering isn't an impairment unless you let it get to you. I have heard of many who have struggled greatly with it but have overcome it completely.
While this is only a fraction of the array of trials, illnesses and disabilities out there, one truth resonates hope for all: God loves using the ashes of this world to bring forth immense beauty.
